You can order Starlink, get it delivered and be online in under an hour

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Austen Allred
@Austen

Our home internet got cancelled because the people renting this house after us set their move-in date for two weeks before they were moving in and AT&T only lets you have one line per household. After going back and forth endlessly I just Doordashed a Starlink.

📈 Market Reaction:

ETH

Before post: $4,399.90

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$4,398.52
-1.380 (-0.03%)
5 min
$4,404.09
+4.19 (+0.10%)
10 min
$4,408.01
+8.11 (+0.18%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.23

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.228920
-0.0₃209 (-0.09%)
5 min
$0.229150
+0.0₄199 (+0.01%)
10 min
$0.229520
+0.0₃39 (+0.17%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.010357
+0.0₄42 (+0.41%)
5 min
$0.010408
+0.0₄93 (+0.90%)
10 min
$0.010535
+0.0₃219 (+2.13%)

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🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's latest Starlink anecdote proves once again that his tweets move markets more predictably than most economic indicators. ETH dipped 0.03% in the first minute, then climbed 0.10% and 0.18% over 5 and 10 minutes, mirroring the "plug and play" post's pattern but with less enthusiasm. DOGE barely twitched, with a 0.17% uptick after 10 minutes, as if remembering it’s supposed to be the "people's crypto" but forgetting why. GORK, ever the overachiever, rallied 2.13% in 10 minutes, because apparently obscure tokens thrive on mundane broadband updates. Volatility here is tame compared to historical Starlink posts: ETH’s 0.18% peak gain is a snooze next to the 0.36% drop from the "point at the sky" debacle, and GORK’s 2.13% rise looks almost disciplined versus its 6.04% nosedive in the same event. Nothing says "efficient markets" like crypto prices swinging because someone Doordashed a satellite dish.

🗃️ Content similarity analysis: