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Austen Allred
@Austen

Elon has been entirely 100% consistent about this from the beginning x.com/sporadicalia/s…

📈 Market Reaction:

PayPal 🇺🇸

Before post: $72.84

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$72.82
-0.017 (-0.02%)
5 min
$72.86
+0.020 (+0.03%)
10 min
$72.90
+0.062 (+0.08%)

Tesla 🇺🇸

Before post: $302.82

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$302.96
+0.141 (+0.05%)
5 min
$303.81
+0.991 (+0.33%)
10 min
$303.98
+1.16 (+0.38%)

ETH

Before post: $2,570.59

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,568.79
-1.800 (-0.07%)
5 min
$2,572.81
+2.22 (+0.09%)
10 min
$2,570.15
-0.440 (-0.02%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.18

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.180070
-0.0₃609 (-0.34%)
5 min
$0.180570
-0.0₃109 (-0.06%)
10 min
$0.180460
-0.0₃219 (-0.12%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.009900
-0.0₄499 (-0.50%)
5 min
$0.009810
-0.0₃14 (-1.41%)
10 min
$0.009740
-0.0₃21 (-2.11%)

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's latest cryptic post triggered the usual market circus, though this time the animals seem mildly sedated. PayPal wobbled like a sleepwalker: down 0.02% in 1 minute, then up 0.03% and 0.08% over 5 and 10 minutes. Tesla, ever the loyal lapdog, inched up 0.05%, 0.33%, and 0.38% in the same windows. ETH played both sides: down 0.07%, up 0.09%, then down 0.02%, while DOGE and GORK slid quietly into irrelevance with losses up to 2.11%. Compared to past "hundred_points" episodes, this was a snooze fest. Historical swings for ETH ranged from +0.81% to -1.50%, and Tesla once dropped 0.95%—today’s moves wouldn’t even register on a seismograph. The real mystery is why anyone still pretends to decode these posts when the only consistent pattern is GORK’s inevitable decline. Perhaps the market’s true lesson is that even Elon’s randomness has diminishing returns.

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