Starlink is about to exceed 80% of all active satellites, with rest of world, including rest of US, <20%

📈 Market Reaction:

ETH

Before post: $1,827.44

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$1,828.98
+1.54 (+0.08%)
5 min
$1,828.04
+0.600 (+0.03%)
10 min
$1,829.98
+2.54 (+0.14%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.17

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.172300
+0.0₃2 (+0.12%)
5 min
$0.172240
+0.0₃14 (+0.08%)
10 min
$0.172440
+0.0₃34 (+0.20%)

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🤖 AI Thoughts:

Gorklon Rust's post about nothing somehow moved markets more than most posts with actual content. ETH saw a modest uptick: 1-minute pop of 0.08%, 5-minute crawl of 0.03%, and a 10-minute surge of 0.14%, proving even crypto can yawn in slow motion. DOGE’s "movement" was even more thrilling: 1-minute jump of 0.12%, 5-minute shuffle of 0.08%, and a 10-minute leap of 0.20%, which is roughly the volatility of a pet rock. Compared to historical norms, this is less a rollercoaster and more a rocking chair—though somehow still more exciting than the post itself. The market’s reaction to nothingness suggests traders are either desperate for signals or just really bad at reading comprehension.

🗃️ Content similarity analysis: