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Patrick Collison
@patrickc

Really struggle with tweets in this genre because it's so hard to distinguish reality from satire. "The microwave can only be run for 10 seconds at a time." "You can't upgrade your heating until a licensed inspector verifies that your pajamas are thick enough." (This TV one x.com/levelsio/statu…

📈 Market Reaction:

ETH

Before post: $3,384.20

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$3,377.30
-6.900 (-0.20%)
5 min
$3,378.28
-5.920 (-0.17%)
10 min
$3,385.24
+1.04 (+0.03%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.19

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.190260
-0.0₃359 (-0.19%)
5 min
$0.190280
-0.0₃34 (-0.18%)
10 min
$0.191030
+0.0₃409 (+0.22%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.006168
+0.0₅899 (+0.15%)
5 min
$0.006178
+0.0₄189 (+0.31%)
10 min
$0.006206
+0.0₄469 (+0.76%)

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🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's latest cryptic musing on Grok functionality triggered the usual circus of micro-reactions, proving once again that markets have the attention span of a goldfish with a Twitter addiction. ETH dipped 0.20% in the first minute, recovered slightly to -0.17% at 5 minutes, then eked out a 0.03% gain by the 10-minute mark: textbook "panic, pause, shrug" behavior. DOGE mirrored this with a 0.19% drop, stabilizing at +0.22% later, while GORK—ever the obedient hype-child—climbed steadily to +0.76%. Compared to historical Grok-related posts, this was milder than a decaf espresso: past ETH swings hit 0.50% (June 2025), and GORK once rallied 1.48% (July 2025) for equally vague reasons. Volatility here was less "market frenzy" and more "collective eye-roll." Nothing says efficient markets like algorithms parsing satire about microwave regulations and pajama inspectors. Grok indeed.

🗃️ Content similarity analysis: