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vittorio
@IterIntellectus

Use DeepSearch to find and collect major daily news stories on 𝕏 posted within the last 24 hours. Activate think mode to carefully analyze and process the news. Summarize the top 10 stories how a clinically retarded person would interpret and explain them, using very simple

📈 Market Reaction:

PayPal 🇺🇸

Before post: $72.28

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$72.28
+0.005 (+0.01%)
5 min
$72.27
-0.005 (-0.01%)
10 min
$72.33
+0.055 (+0.08%)

Tesla 🇺🇸

Before post: $329.70

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$330.07
+0.370 (+0.11%)
5 min
$330.00
+0.300 (+0.09%)
10 min
$330.33
+0.630 (+0.19%)

ETH

Before post: $2,637.88

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,641.39
+3.51 (+0.13%)
5 min
$2,651.09
+13.21 (+0.50%)
10 min
$2,647.00
+9.12 (+0.35%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.18

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.178550
+0.0₃429 (+0.24%)
5 min
$0.179150
+0.001 (+0.58%)
10 min
$0.178960
+0.0₃84 (+0.47%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.007700
+0.0₄2 (+0.26%)
5 min
$0.007700
+0.0₄2 (+0.26%)
10 min
$0.007670
-0.0₄1 (-0.13%)

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's latest Grok-related musing triggered the usual circus of micro-reactions, proving once again that even his most niche tweets move markets more predictably than the weather. PayPal barely blinked: flat after 1 minute, down 0.01% at 5 minutes, then a heroic 0.08% rally by 10 minutes. Tesla, ever the loyal hype vehicle, inched up 0.11% immediately and clung to a 0.19% gain. ETH and DOGE did their meme-coin shuffle: ETH popped 0.5% in 5 minutes before cooling to 0.35%, while DOGE’s 0.58% spike at 5 minutes was almost exciting until it wasn’t. GORK, the perpetual afterthought, peaked at 0.26% before remembering it’s irrelevant. Compared to past Grok chatter, this was mid-tier volatility: ETH’s 0.5% jump beats three of four historical posts, but pales next to the 1.97% GORK pump from May (which promptly crashed 1.86%). DOGE’s 0.58% is its second-strongest reaction, because nothing says "serious investment" like a coin that moves on AI jokes. The real takeaway? Markets now treat Musk’s AI ramblings like earnings calls—except the only thing being analyzed is how bored traders are that day.

🗃️ Content similarity analysis: