The WSJ & New York Times fake “journalists” lied through their teeth about me. Now let’s see their drug test results. They will fail.

📈 Market Reaction:

ETH

Before post: $2,521.46

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,522.79
+1.33 (+0.05%)
5 min
$2,527.40
+5.94 (+0.24%)
10 min
$2,527.52
+6.06 (+0.24%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.17

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.170410
+0.0₃24 (+0.14%)
5 min
$0.170700
+0.0₃53 (+0.31%)
10 min
$0.170440
+0.0₃27 (+0.16%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.007100
+0.0₄4 (+0.57%)
5 min
$0.007090
+0.0₄299 (+0.42%)
10 min
$0.007110
+0.0₄499 (+0.71%)

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🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's latest media rant triggered a crypto sugar rush while traditional assets shrugged. ETH saw modest gains: up 0.05% in 1 minute, 0.24% over 5 and 10 minutes. DOGE wobbled like a confused Shiba Inu: tiny 0.14% to 0.31% bumps. GORK, the perpetual wildcard, led the pack with 0.57% to 0.71% jumps—proof that obscure tokens thrive on chaos. Volatility was tame compared to past outbursts. A similar June post sent ETH down 0.93% in 10 minutes, while May’s rants flipped between micro-gains and losses. This time, crypto shrugged and partied—like Wall Street betting on Musk’s theatrics being priced in. Nothing says "efficient markets" like digital coins rallying on drug test demands. The only thing failing here is predictability.

🗃️ Content similarity analysis: