Great idea. I hereby challenge the NYT and WSJ to take drug tests and publish the results! They won’t, because those hypocrites are guilty as sin.

avatar
Jack Steel
@Jackst6931

Would love to see NYTimes staff take the same test.

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

📈 Market Reaction:

PayPal 🇺🇸

Before post: $71.58

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$71.57
-0.010 (-0.01%)
5 min
$71.57
-0.015 (-0.02%)
10 min
$71.50
-0.085 (-0.12%)

Tesla 🇺🇸

Before post: $324.00

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$323.59
-0.414 (-0.13%)
5 min
$322.96
-1.044 (-0.32%)
10 min
$322.09
-1.914 (-0.59%)

ETH

Before post: $2,556.29

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,552.70
-3.590 (-0.14%)
5 min
$2,550.26
-6.030 (-0.24%)
10 min
$2,532.40
-23.890 (-0.93%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.17

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.171450
+0.0₄399 (+0.02%)
5 min
$0.171300
-0.0₃109 (-0.06%)
10 min
$0.169940
-0.001 (-0.86%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.007630
+0.0₄299 (+0.39%)
5 min
$0.007580
-0.0₄2 (-0.26%)
10 min
$0.007420
-0.0₃179 (-2.37%)

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's latest media taunt triggered more eye rolls than market moves, with crypto taking the brunt of his rhetorical flair. PayPal barely flinched: down 0.01% in 1 minute, 0.02% in 5, and 0.12% in 10, proving even Musk’s own financial ventures are tired of his antics. Tesla dipped 0.13%, 0.32%, and 0.59% over the same periods, a whisper of volatility for a stock that treats 5% swings like a morning coffee. ETH and DOGE, the usual suspects, wobbled: ETH fell 0.14%, 0.24%, then 0.93%, while DOGE teased a 0.02% gain before dropping 0.86%. GORK, the meme coin du jour, spiked 0.39% then cratered 2.37%, because nothing says stability like a cryptocurrency named after a sound effect. Compared to his last NYT rant (43% similarity), this was tame: ETH barely reacted then, and DOGE’s 0.27% drop looks like a rounding error next to today’s theatrics. The real takeaway? Musk’s tweets now move markets about as much as a weather report in a hurricane—everyone notices, but nobody’s surprised.

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