Cool

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Mario Nawfal
@MarioNawfal

UNITED AIRLINES GOES ALL-IN ON STARLINK—FULL FLEET UPGRADE BY 2026 United Airlines is aiming high—every one of its 300 regional jets will be rocking Starlink internet by 2026! Rollout begins in May, following FAA approval for its first Starlink-equipped aircraft. •⁠ ⁠Free

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📈 Market Reaction:

ETH

Before post: $2,561.59

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,565.65
+4.06 (+0.16%)
5 min
$2,547.99
-13.600 (-0.53%)
10 min
$2,558.03
-3.560 (-0.14%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.23

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.228810
-0.0₃519 (-0.23%)
5 min
$0.227060
-0.002 (-0.99%)
10 min
$0.227640
-0.002 (-0.74%)

GORK

Before post: $0.02

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.021070
-0.0₄8 (-0.38%)
5 min
$0.020980
-0.0₃17 (-0.80%)
10 min
$0.021170
+0.0₄2 (+0.09%)

PayPal 🇺🇸

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Tesla 🇺🇸

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🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's "cool" post about United Airlines' Starlink rollout triggered the usual crypto roulette spin, with outcomes as predictable as a coin flip. ETH: briefly up 0.16% in the first minute, then slid 0.53% over five minutes before settling at a 0.14% loss. A rollercoaster so mild it barely qualifies as a carnival ride. DOGE: consistently underwhelming, down 0.23%, 0.99%, and 0.74% across intervals. The people’s crypto remains unimpressed by earthly airline news. GORK: the wildcard, dipping 0.38% and 0.80% before a token 0.09% rebound. Volatility here makes ETH look like a savings bond. Historical context reveals these "cool" posts are economic Rorschach tests: sometimes moving Tesla or PayPal, often leaving crypto in a shrug. Today’s impact fits the pattern—random noise dressed as significance. The real takeaway: markets react to Musk’s musings like cats to a laser pointer—briefly, chaotically, and with no lasting memory.

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