Cool

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Sawyer Merritt
@SawyerMerritt

United Airlines Starlink review: "Throughout the 90-minute flight, I regularly clocked download speeds of over 100 Mbps, with speeds peaking at 222 Mbps. I was able to download the YouTube app (308.4 MB) in seconds, watch YouTube videos, stream shows, listen to Spotify and even

📈 Market Reaction:

PayPal 🇺🇸

Before post: $70.37

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$70.43
+0.055 (+0.08%)
5 min
$70.43
+0.065 (+0.09%)
10 min
$70.42
+0.050 (+0.07%)

Tesla 🇺🇸

Before post: $299.65

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$300.65
+0.995 (+0.33%)
5 min
$300.25
+0.595 (+0.20%)
10 min
$300.76
+1.11 (+0.37%)

ETH

Before post: $2,339.80

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,351.37
+11.57 (+0.49%)
5 min
$2,349.17
+9.37 (+0.40%)
10 min
$2,351.05
+11.25 (+0.48%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.21

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.205900
+0.0₃81 (+0.39%)
5 min
$0.205750
+0.0₃659 (+0.32%)
10 min
$0.205880
+0.0₃79 (+0.39%)

GORK

Before post: $0.03

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.024850
-0.0₃32 (-1.27%)
5 min
$0.024980
-0.0₃19 (-0.75%)
10 min
$0.024900
-0.0₃27 (-1.07%)

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's latest "cool" post proves once again that his brand of cryptic endorsement moves markets more predictably than most earnings reports. PayPal saw a modest uptick: 1min +0.08%, 5min +0.09%, 10min +0.07%, likely riding the coattails of Musk's broader tech halo. Tesla, as usual, reacted with more enthusiasm: 1min +0.33%, 5min +0.20%, 10min +0.37%, because nothing says "buy Tesla" like a tweet about airline Wi-Fi. Crypto followed the script: ETH gained 0.49% in 1min, DOGE wobbled around 0.39%, while GORK—the perpetual outlier—tumbled 1.27%, because even Musk's magic has limits. Historical context shows these "cool" posts are reliably volatile: ETH typically jumps 0.1-0.5%, DOGE flails, and GORK either moons or craters. Today's reaction fits the pattern like a tailored SpaceX suit. The irony? A post praising internet speeds on United Airlines did more for Tesla's stock than most of their actual quarterly deliveries. The market isn't irrational—it's just allergic to subtlety.

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