Wow I can’t believe Epstein killed himself before realizing it was all a hoax

📈 Market Reaction:

ETH

Before post: $3,462.54

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$3,474.69
+12.15 (+0.35%)
5 min
$3,471.32
+8.78 (+0.25%)
10 min
$3,479.40
+16.86 (+0.49%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.22

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.216810
+0.001 (+0.55%)
5 min
$0.216260
+0.0₃64 (+0.30%)
10 min
$0.216940
+0.001 (+0.61%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.008341
+0.0₅599 (+0.07%)
5 min
$0.008315
-0.0₄2 (-0.24%)
10 min
$0.008387
+0.0₄519 (+0.62%)

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🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's latest conspiracy-adjacent musing sent crypto on another caffeine-free rollercoaster ride. ETH wobbled upward like a tipsy tightrope walker: +0.35% in 1 minute, +0.25% in 5, then a daring +0.49% in 10. DOGE, ever the drama queen, squeezed out microscopic gains: +0.55%, +0.30%, +0.61%. GORK yawned through its own existential crisis: +0.07%, -0.24%, then a confused +0.62%. Compared to past Epstein-related outbursts, this was a tea party. The June 2025 post tanked Tesla by 2.4% and ETH by 1.8%, while today’s version barely moved the needle. Volatility? More like a sleepy golden retriever pretending to guard the house. Nothing says "market fundamentals" like digital assets reacting to a billionaire’s midnight shower thoughts.

🗃️ Content similarity analysis: