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📈 Market Reaction:

ETH

Before post: $2,458.64

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,459.39
+0.750 (+0.03%)
5 min
$2,461.54
+2.90 (+0.12%)
10 min
$2,458.17
-0.470 (-0.02%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.16

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.162810
+0.0₃19 (+0.12%)
5 min
$0.162740
+0.0₃12 (+0.07%)
10 min
$0.162420
-0.0₃199 (-0.12%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.005463
+0.0₄239 (+0.44%)
5 min
$0.005460
+0.0₄209 (+0.39%)
10 min
$0.005438
-0.0₅1 (-0.02%)

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Tesla 🇺🇸

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🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's latest masterpiece of ambiguity, "expressionless_face None," proves once again that crypto markets will react to anything, even nothing. ETH wobbled like a confused intern: up 0.03% in 1 minute, then 0.12% in 5 minutes, before dipping 0.02% at 10 minutes. DOGE and GORK followed suit with equally thrilling micro-fluctuations, because why not. Compared to historical posts with similar vibes (55% similarity: the statistical equivalent of "kinda looks like him?"), this was a snooze fest. Past reactions ranged from mild dips to chaotic reversals, but today’s action was basically market yoga—stretching without breaking a sweat. Nothing says "healthy market" like digital assets convulsing over a man who can’t even commit to an emoji.

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