#1 news source in Canada!

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DogeDesigner
@cb_doge

BREAKING: 𝕏 is now the #1 news app on the AppStore in Canada in both Free & Grossing categories.

📈 Market Reaction:

ETH

Before post: $2,539.44

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,539.19
-0.250 (-0.01%)
5 min
$2,536.86
-2.580 (-0.10%)
10 min
$2,535.59
-3.850 (-0.15%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.18

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.177830
-0.0₃14 (-0.08%)
5 min
$0.177270
-0.0₃699 (-0.39%)
10 min
$0.176530
-0.001 (-0.81%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.007500
+0.0 (+0.00%)
5 min
$0.007520
+0.0₄2 (+0.27%)
10 min
$0.007500
+0.0 (+0.00%)

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🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's latest proclamation about X's Canadian news dominance triggered the crypto equivalent of a polite shrug. ETH dipped slightly: down 0.01% in 1 minute, 0.10% in 5, and 0.15% in 10, a far cry from the 0.06% drop in the "news source on earth" post. DOGE mirrored its usual theatrics: a 0.08% slip at 1 minute, deepening to 0.81% by 10 minutes, outperforming its own historical flops. GORK, ever the enigma, twitched between 0.00% and 0.27%, as if unsure whether to care. Volatility here is less "market frenzy" and more "sleepwalking through a spreadsheet," with reactions muted compared to past X-related news. The real shocker? GORK's non-movement might be the most interesting part. Nothing says "market-moving news" like a coin named after a sound effect barely budging. Perhaps crypto traders have finally learned to ignore Musk—or they’re just busy Googling what GORK is.

🗃️ Content similarity analysis: