Great work turning a lengthy paperwork retirement process into a simple digital one!

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Department of Government Efficiency
@DOGE

On June 2, online digital retirement became the government standard at

http:// Retire.opm.gov ! Great teamwork by OPM and DOGE. Next up (end of July): getting the first retirement benefit payments to retirees faster (currently takes multiple months). Will report back in July!

📈 Market Reaction:

PayPal 🇺🇸

Before post: $73.03

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$73.18
+0.155 (+0.21%)
5 min
$73.40
+0.370 (+0.51%)
10 min
$73.33
+0.300 (+0.41%)

Tesla 🇺🇸

Before post: $315.95

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$316.35
+0.390 (+0.12%)
5 min
$317.50
+1.55 (+0.49%)
10 min
$317.41
+1.46 (+0.46%)

ETH

Before post: $2,576.33

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,584.89
+8.56 (+0.33%)
5 min
$2,593.81
+17.48 (+0.68%)
10 min
$2,599.21
+22.88 (+0.89%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.19

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.188760
+0.001 (+0.63%)
5 min
$0.189310
+0.002 (+0.93%)
10 min
$0.189540
+0.002 (+1.05%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.009850
+0.0₃119 (+1.23%)
5 min
$0.009910
+0.0₃179 (+1.85%)
10 min
$0.009900
+0.0₃17 (+1.75%)

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's latest bureaucratic cheerleading session gave crypto and PayPal a modest caffeine bump while Tesla yawned. PayPal popped 0.21% in the first minute, peaking at 0.51% after five minutes before settling at 0.41%—proof that even Musk’s paperwork praise can move fintech needles. Tesla’s 0.49% five-minute gain was lukewarm, suggesting investors still prefer rockets over retirement forms. ETH and DOGE rallied 0.89% and 1.05% respectively, with DOGE’s spike hilariously outpacing Tesla—priorities, people. GORK, the meme coin nobody understands, led the pack at 1.85%, because why not. Compared to May’s similar post (76% similarity), this one had legs: ETH crashed last time, while DOGE’s 1.05% today dwarfed its prior 0.35% shrug. Volatility remains tame by crypto standards, where a 1% move is basically flat. Nothing says "market efficiency" like dog-themed coins surging because a billionaire complimented a government website.

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