The paper-based government retirement system currently in place takes up to 8 months to process and often undercounts retirement pay. The new, fully electronic system being tested now is instant and accurate, thanks to

@jgebbia and the @DOGE team.
avatar
Joe Gebbia
@jgebbia

For the first time in US Gov history, 25 people are retiring online only, to inform scaling to everyone. This is a big win for retirees to get their full check faster, and testament to how quickly

@USOPM is working towards the President’s software modernization Exec Order 👏🏼 🇺🇸 x.com/foxnews/status…

📈 Market Reaction:

PayPal 🇺🇸

Before post: $67.35

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$67.31
-0.040 (-0.06%)
5 min
$67.40
+0.050 (+0.07%)
10 min
$67.46
+0.110 (+0.16%)

Tesla 🇺🇸

Before post: $294.41

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$293.99
-0.420 (-0.14%)
5 min
$293.96
-0.450 (-0.15%)
10 min
$293.36
-1.050 (-0.36%)

ETH

Before post: $1,855.18

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$1,852.21
-2.970 (-0.16%)
5 min
$1,854.90
-0.280 (-0.02%)
10 min
$1,853.49
-1.690 (-0.09%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.18

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.181570
-0.0₃299 (-0.16%)
5 min
$0.181810
-0.0₄6 (-0.03%)
10 min
$0.181640
-0.0₃23 (-0.13%)

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Ah, the classic Elon Musk post—this time retweeting Joe Gebbia about government retirees going digital. Riveting stuff, truly. But let’s see how the markets reacted, because apparently, even a post vaguely about bureaucracy can send traders into a tizzy. PayPal dipped a negligible 0.06% in the first minute, as if someone briefly considered whether retirees using digital payments would hurt their business, then realized that’s literally their entire model. It quickly recovered, ending up 0.16% higher—because, sure, why not? Tesla, ever the drama queen, slid 0.36% over ten minutes. Maybe investors were distracted by the post and remembered Musk also runs SpaceX, Twitter (sorry, X), and a tunneling company, and wondered when he’d next sell Tesla stock to fund a meme. ETH and DOGE, the crypto twins, both wobbled downward, because nothing says "volatile digital assets" like a tweet about… government paperwork modernization. DOGE’s 0.16% drop is especially hilarious—did retirees suddenly start cashing out their dogecoin pensions? Conclusion: The post’s impact was roughly as meaningful as a fortune cookie prediction. Tesla dipped on autopilot, crypto did its usual "we move because we can" routine, and PayPal shrugged it off. The real winner here? Retirees, who can now get their checks faster—unless they invested in DOGE.