Whatever. Keep the EV/solar incentive cuts in the bill, even though no oil & gas subsidies are touched (very unfair!!), but ditch the MOUNTAIN of DISGUSTING PORK in the bill. In the entire history of civilization, there has never been legislation that both big and beautiful.

📈 Market Reaction:

PayPal 🇺🇸

Before post: $73.37

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$73.41
+0.040 (+0.05%)
5 min
$73.40
+0.035 (+0.05%)
10 min
$73.47
+0.100 (+0.14%)

Tesla 🇺🇸

Before post: $313.65

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$314.74
+1.09 (+0.35%)
5 min
$313.79
+0.137 (+0.04%)
10 min
$313.67
+0.017 (+0.01%)

ETH

Before post: $2,574.69

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,562.55
-12.140 (-0.47%)
5 min
$2,565.64
-9.050 (-0.35%)
10 min
$2,564.89
-9.800 (-0.38%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.19

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.182800
-0.005 (-2.44%)
5 min
$0.183740
-0.004 (-1.94%)
10 min
$0.183290
-0.004 (-2.18%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.009470
-0.0₃15 (-1.56%)
5 min
$0.009570
-0.0₄499 (-0.52%)
10 min
$0.009580
-0.0₄4 (-0.42%)

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's latest policy rant sent markets on a joyride so mild it could put insomniacs to sleep. PayPal edged up 0.05% in the first minute, clinging to a 0.14% gain after 10 minutes: proof that even Musk’s financial orphans get table scraps. Tesla spiked 0.35% immediately before remembering it’s no longer the golden child, settling at a yawn-inducing 0.01%. Crypto took the brunt: ETH bled 0.47% early, while DOGE and GORK flopped like expired memes, down 2.44% and 1.56% respectively. Historical parallels show Musk’s solar rants usually leave crypto colder than a Texas winter grid, though this one lacked the usual volatility fireworks. The real takeaway: markets now treat Musk’s policy tirades like a neighbor’s leaf blower—noticeable, briefly annoying, then ignored. How poetic that a tweet decrying legislative bloat had all the impact of a deflating whoopee cushion.

🗃️ Content similarity analysis: