Slim Beautiful Bill for the win

🥇

📈 Market Reaction:

PayPal 🇺🇸

Before post: $73.40

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$73.49
+0.090 (+0.12%)
5 min
$73.42
+0.020 (+0.03%)
10 min
$73.41
+0.010 (+0.01%)

Tesla 🇺🇸

Before post: $317.51

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$316.27
-1.240 (-0.39%)
5 min
$314.36
-3.150 (-0.99%)
10 min
$314.74
-2.771 (-0.87%)

ETH

Before post: $2,587.46

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,586.41
-1.050 (-0.04%)
5 min
$2,577.00
-10.460 (-0.40%)
10 min
$2,562.55
-24.910 (-0.96%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.19

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.188760
-0.0₃269 (-0.14%)
5 min
$0.187560
-0.001 (-0.78%)
10 min
$0.182800
-0.006 (-3.30%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.009730
+0.0₄1 (+0.10%)
5 min
$0.009650
-0.0₄699 (-0.72%)
10 min
$0.009470
-0.0₃25 (-2.57%)

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's latest cryptic post triggered a market reaction best described as "mild confusion with a side of Dogecoin despair." PayPal inched up 0.12% in the first minute, then gave back most gains, ending at a barely detectable +0.01% after 10 minutes: the financial equivalent of a polite golf clap. Tesla slid 0.39% immediately and nearly 1% within 5 minutes, proving even its stock tires can deflate when Musk’s tweets lack rocket emojis. ETH and DOGE mirrored their historical post behavior but with amplified drama: DOGE’s 10-minute drop of 3.30% suggests meme coin traders have the attention span of a goldfish watching a TikTok. GORK’s initial 0.10% gain before collapsing 2.57% confirms it’s still the market’s version of a participation trophy. The real achievement here? Making "slim beautiful bill" somehow less impactful than a typo-ridden crypto shill. Markets may be efficient, but they’re clearly not immune to nonsense.

🗃️ Content similarity analysis: