I’m sorry, but I just can’t stand it anymore. This massive, outrageous, pork-filled Congressional spending bill is a disgusting abomination. Shame on those who voted for it: you know you did wrong. You know it.

📈 Market Reaction:

PayPal 🇺🇸

Before post: $71.28

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$71.29
+0.019 (+0.03%)
5 min
$71.21
-0.066 (-0.09%)
10 min
$71.14
-0.136 (-0.19%)

Tesla 🇺🇸

Before post: $354.52

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$353.83
-0.695 (-0.20%)
5 min
$353.05
-1.470 (-0.41%)
10 min
$353.11
-1.413 (-0.40%)

ETH

Before post: $2,624.26

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,619.01
-5.250 (-0.20%)
5 min
$2,619.99
-4.270 (-0.16%)
10 min
$2,620.89
-3.370 (-0.13%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.20

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.196250
-0.0₃599 (-0.30%)
5 min
$0.196160
-0.0₃689 (-0.35%)
10 min
$0.196250
-0.0₃599 (-0.30%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.010450
+0.0₅999 (+0.10%)
5 min
$0.010420
-0.0₄199 (-0.19%)
10 min
$0.010750
+0.0₃309 (+2.97%)

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's pork-themed political rant triggered more volatility in crypto than in his own companies, proving once again that memes move markets faster than morals. PayPal barely twitched: up 0.03% in the first minute, then down 0.09% and 0.19% over five and ten minutes. Tesla dipped harder, shedding 0.2% immediately and stabilizing around 0.4% down. Crypto took the brunt: ETH and DOGE both fell roughly 0.3% initially, while GORK—because of course—swung wildly from slight losses to a nearly 3% gain, because nothing says stability like a coin named after a noise. Compared to historical norms, this was a mild tremor disguised as an earthquake. Tesla routinely shrugs off 2% swings before lunch, and crypto’s “volatility” is like calling a tornado “breezy.” The real takeaway: Musk can call Congress pork-filled, but the market’s response was decidedly lean. Perhaps investors are finally learning that outrage, like crypto, is best consumed in small doses.

🗃️ Content similarity analysis: