Jamie Dimon is right

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Geiger Capital
@Geiger_Capital

Jamie Dimon is not fucking around today… “China is an adversary, but what I really worry about is the enemy within. Can we get our own act together, our own values and capabilities. This time is different… we have to get our act together and quickly.”

📈 Market Reaction:

PayPal 🇺🇸

Before post: $69.73

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$69.72
-0.010 (-0.01%)
5 min
$69.72
-0.005 (-0.01%)
10 min
$69.72
-0.005 (-0.01%)

Tesla 🇺🇸

Before post: $348.51

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$348.20
-0.311 (-0.09%)
5 min
$347.93
-0.581 (-0.17%)
10 min
$348.29
-0.221 (-0.06%)

ETH

Before post: $2,552.02

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,557.04
+5.02 (+0.20%)
5 min
$2,551.59
-0.430 (-0.02%)
10 min
$2,546.87
-5.150 (-0.20%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.20

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.197780
+0.0₃49 (+0.25%)
5 min
$0.197260
-0.0₄3 (-0.02%)
10 min
$0.196810
-0.0₃479 (-0.24%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.010420
-0.0₄199 (-0.19%)
5 min
$0.010310
-0.0₃129 (-1.25%)
10 min
$0.010300
-0.0₃139 (-1.34%)

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's endorsement of Jamie Dimon's existential rant triggered the kind of market reaction usually reserved for a slightly off-brand yogurt. PayPal barely flinched: down 0.01% across 1, 5, and 10 minutes, as if the market collectively shrugged and went back to brunch. Tesla dipped mildly: 0.09% at 1 minute, 0.17% at 5, then a partial recovery to 0.06% down—volatility so tame it could be mistaken for a rounding error. ETH and DOGE did their usual crypto tango: ETH popped 0.20% in the first minute before giving it all back, while DOGE’s 0.25% gain evaporated faster than a meme stock’s credibility. GORK, the token nobody owns, fell 1.34% in 10 minutes, proving once again that obscure assets react to headlines like a startled gazelle. Historical context: zero. This post was as unique as a corporate leader using "fucking" in a quote, yet the market treated it with the enthusiasm of a lukewarm latte. The real takeaway: Elon can move markets with a fart in a Tesla, but even his endorsements of banking doom can’t compete with the average Tuesday in crypto.