📈 Market Reaction:

PayPal 🇺🇸

Before post: $69.68

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$69.69
+0.005 (+0.01%)
5 min
$69.71
+0.025 (+0.04%)
10 min
$69.68
-0.010 (-0.01%)

Tesla 🇺🇸

Before post: $347.81

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$348.10
+0.286 (+0.08%)
5 min
$348.69
+0.880 (+0.25%)
10 min
$347.41
-0.400 (-0.12%)

ETH

Before post: $2,555.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,554.99
-0.020 (0.00%)
5 min
$2,555.09
+0.080 (+0.00%)
10 min
$2,550.89
-4.120 (-0.16%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.20

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.198040
+0.0₃119 (+0.06%)
5 min
$0.197370
-0.0₃55 (-0.28%)
10 min
$0.197020
-0.0₃9 (-0.45%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.010440
+0.0₅999 (+0.10%)
5 min
$0.010420
-0.0₅999 (-0.10%)
10 min
$0.010310
-0.0₃12 (-1.15%)

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's post of "None" somehow managed to move markets more than a politician's empty promise. PayPal barely blinked: up 0.01% in 1 minute, 0.04% in 5, then down 0.01% in 10, as if it briefly considered caring before remembering it’s a fintech company. Tesla had a micro-rally: up 0.08% then 0.25%, before giving back 0.12%, proving even Musk’s silence can’t stop its bipolar tendencies. ETH and DOGE twitched like startled cats: ETH lost 0.16% after a flat start, while DOGE’s 0.06% gain evaporated into a 0.45% loss, because meme coins thrive on chaos. GORK, the mystery token, swung from +0.10% to -1.15%, because nothing says "volatility" like an asset named after a sound effect. Compared to historical norms, this was less "market-moving" and more "market-shrugging," with volatility so mild it could pass for a sedated sloth. The irony: the most impactful thing about Musk’s post was analysts wasting time dissecting its non-impact.