@gork

📈 Market Reaction:

ETH

Before post: $2,483.42

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,484.20
+0.780 (+0.03%)
5 min
$2,482.78
-0.640 (-0.03%)
10 min
$2,480.15
-3.270 (-0.13%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.22

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.216050
+0.0₃259 (+0.12%)
5 min
$0.215850
+0.0₄599 (+0.03%)
10 min
$0.215860
+0.0₄699 (+0.03%)

GORK

Before post: $0.02

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.023040
+0.0₃59 (+2.63%)
5 min
$0.023550
+0.001 (+4.90%)
10 min
$0.023340
+0.0₃889 (+3.96%)

PayPal 🇺🇸

Outside trading hours

Tesla 🇺🇸

Outside trading hours

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's post containing absolutely nothing somehow managed to move markets more than most corporate earnings reports. ETH wobbled like a confused intern: up 0.03% in the first minute, then down 0.03% after five, and finally a decisive 0.13% drop at ten minutes. DOGE barely blinked, with a heroic 0.12% initial surge before settling into a thrilling 0.03% plateau. GORK, the mysterious outlier, rallied like it had insider info on the void, jumping 2.63% immediately and peaking at 4.90%. Volatility was tame by crypto standards but still absurd by sane ones: ETH’s 0.13% swing wouldn’t cover a coffee, while GORK’s rally could buy a latte if you squint. Historical context is nonexistent, because not even Musk has previously tweeted nothing with such conviction. The markets have spoken: the most valuable asset in crypto remains the ability to overanalyze a blank screen.