Try out super fast

@Starlink on @united !
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United Airlines
@united

That lightning-fast Wi-Fi we told you about? It’s here.

🎉 🛜 Our first customers just found out what it’s like to break the Wi-Fi barrier and stream, scroll, shop and game just like at home with @starlink . And it’s FREE for MileagePlus members. Rolling out across our fleet now.

📈 Market Reaction:

ETH

Before post: $2,575.62

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,578.41
+2.79 (+0.11%)
5 min
$2,576.56
+0.940 (+0.04%)
10 min
$2,578.56
+2.94 (+0.11%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.23

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.227020
+0.0₃349 (+0.15%)
5 min
$0.226220
-0.0₃45 (-0.20%)
10 min
$0.226190
-0.0₃48 (-0.21%)

GORK

Before post: $0.03

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.030970
-0.0₃31 (-0.99%)
5 min
$0.030070
-0.001 (-3.87%)
10 min
$0.031090
-0.0₃19 (-0.61%)

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🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's cryptic post about United Airlines' Wi-Fi sent crypto markets on a joyride with all the predictability of a turbulence-hit flight. ETH saw a brief 0.11% bump in the first minute, then wobbled between +0.04% and +0.11% over 10 minutes: the crypto equivalent of politely clapping for in-flight Wi-Fi. DOGE flipped from a 0.15% gain to a 0.21% loss in 10 minutes, proving once again that meme coins have the attention span of a goldfish on Red Bull. GORK nosedived 3.87% in 5 minutes before partially recovering, suggesting someone mistook "super fast" for "sell fast." Volatility was tame compared to Musk's usual market-moving antics, where a single tweet can trigger double-digit swings. This time, the reaction was more "mild turbulence" than "emergency landing." The real mystery here isn't the market impact—it's why anyone thought a United Airlines Wi-Fi promo needed Musk's seal of approval. Perhaps next he'll endorse airport pretzels.