A few days ago, a gang of about a dozen young men tried to assault a woman in her car at night in DC. A

@DOGE team member saw what was happening, ran to defend her and was severely beaten to the point of concussion, but he saved her. It is time to federalize DC.

📈 Market Reaction:

ETH

Before post: $3,578.32

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$3,575.67
-2.650 (-0.07%)
5 min
$3,584.32
+6.00 (+0.17%)
10 min
$3,586.83
+8.51 (+0.24%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.20

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.197940
-0.0₃299 (-0.15%)
5 min
$0.198560
+0.0₃319 (+0.16%)
10 min
$0.198700
+0.0₃459 (+0.23%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.006708
+0.0₅3 (+0.04%)
5 min
$0.006696
-0.0₅9 (-0.13%)
10 min
$0.006710
+0.0₅499 (+0.07%)

PayPal 🇺🇸

Outside trading hours

Tesla 🇺🇸

Outside trading hours

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's post about a violent incident in DC triggered more confusion than market movement. ETH dipped 0.07% in the first minute but quickly recovered, gaining 0.17% and 0.24% over 5 and 10 minutes: classic crypto whiplash on low-impact news. DOGE mirrored this with a 0.15% drop, then 0.16% and 0.23% gains, proving even meme coins have commitment issues. GORK barely twitched, moving less than 0.13% in either direction: the token equivalent of a shrug. Volatility here was tame compared to Musk’s usual market-moving antics—no Tesla stock plunges or Dogecoin moons today. Either the algo traders missed this one, or they’ve finally learned to ignore his non-financial musings. The real takeaway: markets reacted to Musk’s post like a bored audience at a political rally—briefly distracted, then back to staring at their phones.

🗃️ Content similarity analysis: