“Baby, what happened to Woke?” Dead, my darling, Woke is dead.

📈 Market Reaction:

ETH

Before post: $2,429.00

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,428.81
-0.190 (-0.01%)
5 min
$2,431.00
+2.00 (+0.08%)
10 min
$2,439.83
+10.83 (+0.45%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.16

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.163090
-0.0₄299 (-0.02%)
5 min
$0.163320
+0.0₃2 (+0.12%)
10 min
$0.163760
+0.0₃64 (+0.39%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.006330
+0.0₄2 (+0.32%)
5 min
$0.006340
+0.0₄3 (+0.48%)
10 min
$0.006350
+0.0₄4 (+0.63%)

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🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's latest poetic musing on the demise of "woke" sent crypto markets on a rollercoaster so mild it barely qualifies as a kiddie ride. ETH dipped a negligible 0.01% in the first minute, then staged a comeback worthy of a daytime soap opera: up 0.08% in 5 minutes and 0.45% in 10. DOGE mirrored this drama with a 0.02% drop, followed by gains of 0.12% and 0.39%. GORK, ever the overachiever, climbed steadily at 0.32%, 0.48%, and 0.63%. Volatility was so tame it made historical norms look like a caffeine-fueled trading floor. The only thing deader than "woke" here is the market's ability to care about Musk's midnight ramblings.