No gods or kings, only men

📈 Market Reaction:

ETH

Before post: $2,572.70

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,575.36
+2.66 (+0.10%)
5 min
$2,575.21
+2.51 (+0.10%)
10 min
$2,576.82
+4.12 (+0.16%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.18

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.177020
+0.0₃26 (+0.15%)
5 min
$0.176870
+0.0₃109 (+0.06%)
10 min
$0.176970
+0.0₃209 (+0.12%)

GORK

Before post: $0.01

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.007820
+0.0 (+0.00%)
5 min
$0.007810
-0.0₄1 (-0.13%)
10 min
$0.007810
-0.0₄1 (-0.13%)

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🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's latest existential musing sent crypto markets into a frenzy of barely detectable movement. ETH wobbled like a philosopher pondering free will: up 0.10% in 1 minute, held steady at 0.10% by 5 minutes, then mustered a heroic 0.16% over 10 minutes. DOGE, ever the drama queen, managed identical price changes (0.00) with percentage swings that would make a metronome jealous: 0.15%, 0.06%, then 0.12%. GORK, the token nobody asked for, lived up to expectations with flatlining followed by a 0.13% drop—truly the Icarus of this saga. Volatility was less "market shock" and more "lightly stirred latte," especially compared to Musk's past tweet-induced tsunamis. The lack of historical parallels suggests even the algorithms were too bored to save this one for reference. Nothing says "decentralized future" like a billionaire's vague poetry moving digital assets by fractions of a fraction.