📈 Market Reaction:

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Elon Musk's post, dripping with his signature blend of existential tech-bro angst and vague accusations, seems to have sent the markets into a mild existential crisis of their own. PayPal, perhaps feeling personally attacked by the "mean-spirited and deceptive" jab, dipped briefly before staging a half-hearted recovery—like a PR team scrambling to draft a non-apology. Tesla, Musk's golden child, initially rallied on sheer loyalty (or bots), then remembered it’s still a car company and dipped slightly, because even fanboys have limits. Meanwhile, crypto—ETH and DOGE—took the post as a cue to slide gently downward, as if realizing that if even Musk thinks the world is deceptive, maybe digital money backed by vibes isn’t foolproof. DOGE, the meme-coin that owes its existence to Musk’s tweets, fell the hardest, proving once again that irony is the only true currency in crypto. Conclusion: Musk’s post was less a market-moving lightning bolt and more a damp squib of existential dread. The real deception? Pretending these micro-fluctuations matter more than they do. But hey, at least Tesla’s 1-minute pump gave day traders something to screenshot before reality set in.