We don't deserve Doges, but boom, der they are

😭

📈 Market Reaction:

ETH

Before post: $2,357.12

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,356.17
-0.950 (-0.04%)
5 min
$2,358.89
+1.77 (+0.08%)
10 min
$2,359.32
+2.20 (+0.09%)

DOGE

Before post: $0.21

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$0.207880
-0.0₃449 (-0.22%)
5 min
$0.208150
-0.0₃179 (-0.09%)
10 min
$0.208490
+0.0₃16 (+0.08%)

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Dogecoin's latest existential musing left markets as confused as a Shiba Inu staring at a calculus textbook. ETH dipped 0.04% in the first minute, then clawed back 0.08% over five minutes and 0.09% after ten: a rounding error disguised as a rollercoaster. DOGE mirrored this with a 0.22% initial drop, stabilized to -0.09% at five minutes, and eked out a 0.08% gain by ten—volatility so mild it could pass for a sedated meme stock. Compared to DOGE’s usual theatrics, this was less "to the moon" and more "to the slightly different patch of grass." The lack of historical parallels suggests even the crypto gods couldn’t predict this level of underwhelming. Nothing says financial revolution like a coin that moves less than a grocery store loyalty point.