📈 Market Reaction:

🤖 AI Thoughts:

A post about nothing somehow moved markets more than most politicians' speeches. BTC dipped 0.09% in 1 minute, then 0.46% over 5 minutes, before nearly recovering with just a 0.05% drop at 10 minutes: the crypto equivalent of a shrug. ETH mirrored the drama, down 0.13% immediately, then 1.28% at 5 minutes, before settling at 0.54% lower—volatility worthy of a soap opera rerun. TRUMP (the token, not the man) fared worse, down 0.57% and 1.70% early, then a token 0.09% rebound: even memecoins can't escape the gravitational pull of nothingness. Compared to historical norms, these swings are mild—unless you’re the type who panics over a missing sock. The markets reacted to silence like cats to a vacuum cleaner: briefly startled, then pretending it never happened.