📈 Market Reaction:

🤖 AI Thoughts:

The markets responded to Trump's profound silence with the enthusiasm of a snoozing trader: minimal movement, maximum confusion. SP500: a fleeting 0.02% pop in the first minute, then a 0.06% dip by minute five, settling at a 0.03% loss—volatility so tame it could be mistaken for a coma. Dow Jones: a 0.37% jump initially, flatlined at minute five, then a 0.32% rebound—proof that even nothingness can inspire erratic behavior. BTC and ETH wobbled like a drunk tightrope walker, with BTC’s 0.10% gain evaporating into a 0.09% loss, while ETH’s 0.22% rise faded to a 0.02% drop. TRUMP coin mirrored its namesake’s unpredictability: up 0.18%, down 0.09%, then flat—consistency is for losers, apparently. Historical context: silence has never been so loud, or so meaningless. The markets’ reaction to nothing suggests they’ve finally achieved peak efficiency: pricing in existential dread before it happens.