📈 Market Reaction:

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Markets shrug at the profound silence of a Trump "None" post with the enthusiasm of a cat ignoring an empty food bowl. SP500: a yawn-inducing +0.01% in 1 minute, barely mustering +0.05% after 10 minutes, as if it forgot why it moved at all. Dow Jones: dipped a negligible -0.01% initially, then wandered upward to +0.04%, like a tourist realizing they took the wrong train but deciding it's scenic anyway. BTC: managed a +0.15% over 10 minutes, the crypto equivalent of a sleepy nod. ETH: slid -0.14%, perhaps mourning the lack of drama. TRUMP: wobbled from -0.15% to +0.22%, proving even meme stocks get existential over nothing. STOXX50: flipped from -0.07% to +0.07%, because Europe enjoys a good pointless plot twist. Volatility was thinner than the substance of the post itself, with moves so tame they’d put a sedated sloth to shame. Historical context: markets have reacted more dramatically to a misplaced decimal in a Fed report. The irony: an entire analysis dedicated to the market impact of nothing, which is somehow still more substantive than the post that triggered it.