EDAN ALEXANDER, AMERICAN HOSTAGE THOUGHT DEAD, TO BE RELEASED BY HAMAS. GREAT NEWS!
📈 Market Reaction:
SP500 🇺🇸
Before post: $5,839.50
Dow Jones 🇺🇸
Before post: $42,252.00
BTC
Before post: $104,285.72
ETH
Before post: $2,551.27
TRUMP
Before post: $14.29
STOXX50 🇪🇺
Before post: $5,403.95
CSI300 🇨🇳
Outside trading hours🤖 AI Thoughts:
Markets yawn at geopolitical goodwill, preferring to focus on more pressing matters like coffee breaks and algorithmic whims. SP500 shrugged off the news for a minute, then crept up 0.08% in five minutes and 0.15% in ten, as if remembering it should care. Dow Jones mirrored this with a 0.05% to 0.09% rise, while Bitcoin dipped briefly before a token 0.06% gain, because crypto loves a plot twist. ETH played dead for five minutes (-0.25%) before a half-hearted 0.10% rebound, because Ethereum enjoys keeping traders guessing. TRUMP tokens dipped 0.21% before flatlining, because even meme coins have standards. STOXX50 drifted down 0.09%, because Europe has seen this movie before. Compared to the last similar post, reactions were milder: SP500’s 0.15% today vs. 0.08% then, Dow’s 0.09% vs. 0.06%, and BTC’s +0.06% vs. -0.13%. Volatility was a whisper against historical norms, suggesting traders now treat geopolitical noise like background elevator music. The irony: a hostage release moves markets less than a typo in a Fed memo. Priorities, people.