I am pleased to announce that Judge Jeanine Pirro will be appointed interim United States Attorney for the District of Columbia. Jeanine was Assistant District Attorney for Westchester County, New York, and then went on to serve as County Judge, and District Attorney, where she was the first woman ever to be elected to those positions. During her time in office, Jeanine was a powerful crusader for victims of crime. Her establishment of the Domestic Violence Bureau in her Prosecutor's Office was the first in the Nation. She excelled in all ways. In addition to her Legal career, Jeanine previously hosted her own Fox News Show, Justice with Judge Jeanine, for ten years, and is currently Co-Host of The Five, one of the Highest Rated Shows on Television. Jeanine is incredibly well qualified for this position, and is considered one of the Top District Attorneys in the History of the State of New York. She is in a class by herself. Congratulations Jeanine!

📈 Market Reaction:

SP500 🇺🇸

Before post: $5,686.00

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$5,682.25
-3.750 (-0.07%)
5 min
$5,683.25
-2.750 (-0.05%)
10 min
$5,685.50
-0.500 (-0.01%)

Dow Jones 🇺🇸

Before post: $41,453.00

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$41,441.00
-12.000 (-0.03%)
5 min
$41,446.00
-7.000 (-0.02%)
10 min
$41,447.00
-6.000 (-0.01%)

BTC

Before post: $102,827.50

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$102,707.71
-119.790 (-0.12%)
5 min
$102,757.06
-70.440 (-0.07%)
10 min
$102,887.99
+60.49 (+0.06%)

ETH

Before post: $2,180.11

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,175.11
-5.000 (-0.23%)
5 min
$2,176.37
-3.740 (-0.17%)
10 min
$2,184.16
+4.05 (+0.19%)

TRUMP

Before post: $12.39

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$12.33
-0.060 (-0.48%)
5 min
$12.34
-0.050 (-0.40%)
10 min
$12.39
+0.0 (+0.00%)

CSI300 🇨🇳

Outside trading hours

STOXX50 🇪🇺

Outside trading hours

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Markets shrugged at the latest judicial appointment like a bored juror during a procedural hearing. SP500 dipped 0.07% in the first minute, then pared losses to 0.01% after 10 minutes: a classic "headline panic, coffee-sip recovery" pattern. Dow Jones mirrored this with a 0.03% drop, fading to 0.01%—proof that blue chips have the attention span of a goldfish. BTC and ETH initially wobbled (BTC -0.12%, ETH -0.23%) but reversed within 10 minutes, because crypto trades on vibes, not resumes. TRUMP token took the hardest hit (-0.48%), suggesting traders found the announcement less thrilling than a rerun of *The Five*. Volatility was tame compared to historical norms: the 55%-similar Whitney Hermandorfer post barely moved markets, making this reaction look like a Shakespearean tragedy by comparison. The real crime here is how little anyone cared.

🗃️ Content similarity analysis: