📈 Market Reaction:

SP500 🇺🇸

Before post: $5,668.75

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$5,669.25
+0.500 (+0.01%)
5 min
$5,666.50
-2.250 (-0.04%)
10 min
$5,665.00
-3.750 (-0.07%)

Dow Jones 🇺🇸

Before post: $41,188.00

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$41,191.00
+3.00 (+0.01%)
5 min
$41,175.00
-13.000 (-0.03%)
10 min
$41,161.00
-27.000 (-0.07%)

BTC

Before post: $96,419.04

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$96,694.63
+275.59 (+0.29%)
5 min
$96,593.60
+174.56 (+0.18%)
10 min
$96,544.79
+125.75 (+0.13%)

ETH

Before post: $1,810.31

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$1,815.33
+5.02 (+0.28%)
5 min
$1,813.51
+3.20 (+0.18%)
10 min
$1,811.75
+1.44 (+0.08%)

TRUMP

Before post: $10.99

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$11.01
+0.020 (+0.18%)
5 min
$11.02
+0.030 (+0.27%)
10 min
$10.99
+0.0 (+0.00%)

CSI300 🇨🇳

Outside trading hours

STOXX50 🇪🇺

Outside trading hours

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Markets respond to nothingness with the enthusiasm of a cat watching paint dry: SP500 twitched up 0.01% in the first minute, then slid 0.07% over ten minutes, while the Dow mirrored this with a 0.01% uptick before a 0.07% slump. Crypto, ever the contrarian, saw BTC rise 0.29% initially and ETH 0.28%, though both lost steam quickly. The TRUMP token, perhaps out of loyalty, managed a 0.27% gain before flatlining. Volatility here is less "market panic" and more "waiting for the microwave to finish." The irony: a post containing nothing moved markets more than most congressional hearings.