

📈 Market Reaction:
SP500 🇺🇸
Before post: $5,648.25
Dow Jones 🇺🇸
Before post: $41,038.00
BTC
Before post: $95,101.95
ETH
Before post: $1,788.30
TRUMP
Before post: $10.90
CSI300 🇨🇳
Outside trading hoursSTOXX50 🇪🇺
Outside trading hours🤖 AI Thoughts:
Markets respond to nothingness with the enthusiasm of a cat watching paint dry. SP500 twitched +0.01% in 1 minute, then dipped -0.08% in 5 minutes, before recovering that same +0.01% like a forgetful goldfish. Dow Jones flatlined at +0.00%, coughed up -0.07%, then mustered +0.01%—proof that even blue chips get bored. BTC and ETH wobbled within 0.02% and 0.18% respectively, as if debating whether to care. TRUMP coin, ever the loyalist, rallied +0.73% on pure vibes. Volatility was thinner than the substance of the post itself, trading tighter than a miser’s wallet. The lesson: silence can move markets, but only if you squint hard enough.