📈 Market Reaction:

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Markets shrugged at the sound of silence, proving once again that no news is sometimes the most amusing news of all. SP500: a rollercoaster of insignificance, bouncing between -0.01% and +0.01% over 10 minutes, as if it couldn’t decide whether to yawn or stretch. Dow Jones mirrored this existential dilemma, with a net change of zero after 10 minutes of microscopic fluctuations. BTC and ETH played their usual volatile selves, but even their moves were sleepy: BTC’s -0.13% over 10 minutes wouldn’t wake a crypto trader from their nap. ETH’s -0.13% drop was equally thrilling, if by thrilling you mean watching paint dry. TRUMP token took the biggest hit, down -0.36% over 10 minutes, perhaps reflecting the market’s disappointment at not getting a meme-worthy headline. Volatility across the board was so tame it could’ve been mistaken for a sedated sloth. The real story here is how little anything moved, which is either a testament to market resilience or a sad commentary on how bored we’ve become without political chaos. Either way, the most volatile thing in this scenario was probably the analyst’s caffeine levels.