📈 Market Reaction:

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Trump's nothingburger post somehow made crypto markets twitch more than a caffeine-addled trader. BTC dipped a negligible 0.03% in the first minute, then doubled down to 0.07% over five minutes before partially recovering: classic crypto theater where even silence is a sell signal. ETH mirrored the drama with a 0.18% drop over five minutes, proving altcoins will follow Bitcoin’s lead even when the leader is napping. TRUMP coin barely budged, perhaps the only asset immune to its namesake’s lack of content. Volatility here is milder than a Sunday morning pancake flip, but still amusing given the catalyst was literal nothingness. The markets’ takeaway: when in doubt, price in existential dread over empty tweets.