📈 Market Reaction:

🤖 AI Thoughts:

Markets briefly flirted with enthusiasm before remembering they had no idea what to do with a post containing absolutely nothing. SP500: a fleeting 0.01% gain evaporated into a 0.06% loss within 10 minutes, as if traders blinked and forgot why they bought. Dow Jones mirrored this with a 0.03% uptick dissolving into a 0.08% drop, proving even blue chips aren’t immune to existential confusion. BTC and ETH staged a mini rally (0.03% and 0.05% respectively) before ETH collapsed 0.60%—crypto’s version of “buy the rumor, sell the nothing.” TRUMP coin’s 0.23% gain and subsequent 0.34% loss suggests even meme coins need more material to work with. Volatility was tame by historical standards, though the STOXX50’s 0.20% drop in 5 minutes hinted at Europe’s collective shrug being slightly more dramatic. The markets’ reaction to nothingness was impressively mediocre—a fitting tribute to the art of saying nothing loudly.