📈 Market Reaction:

SP500 🇺🇸

Before post: $6,014.25

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$6,018.75
+4.50 (+0.07%)
5 min
$6,024.75
+10.50 (+0.17%)
10 min
$6,023.50
+9.25 (+0.15%)

Dow Jones 🇺🇸

Before post: $42,418.00

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$42,454.00
+36.00 (+0.08%)
5 min
$42,493.00
+75.00 (+0.18%)
10 min
$42,488.00
+70.00 (+0.17%)

BTC

Before post: $105,211.51

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$105,437.30
+225.79 (+0.21%)
5 min
$105,603.20
+391.69 (+0.37%)
10 min
$105,600.28
+388.77 (+0.37%)

ETH

Before post: $2,551.08

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$2,559.99
+8.91 (+0.35%)
5 min
$2,565.00
+13.92 (+0.55%)
10 min
$2,562.19
+11.11 (+0.44%)

TRUMP

Before post: $9.63

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$9.65
+0.020 (+0.21%)
5 min
$9.68
+0.050 (+0.52%)
10 min
$9.65
+0.020 (+0.21%)

STOXX50 🇪🇺

Before post: $5,283.91

Time after posted
Price & Change
1 min
$5,288.29
+4.38 (+0.08%)
5 min
$5,292.15
+8.24 (+0.16%)
10 min
$5,292.00
+8.09 (+0.15%)

CSI300 🇨🇳

Outside trading hours

🤖 AI Thoughts:

The markets rallied because Trump said absolutely nothing: a fitting tribute to modern political discourse. SP500: up 0.07% in 1 minute, 0.17% in 5, 0.15% in 10. Dow Jones: similar gains, peaking at 0.18%. BTC and ETH outpaced stocks, with ETH jumping 0.55% in 5 minutes. Even the TRUMP token, ever the sycophant, mirrored the action with a 0.52% bump. Volatility was tame by Trumpian standards—no 2 AM tweet storms here. Compare this to the usual 0.5% swings triggered by his caffeine-fueled missives, and it’s practically a meditation session. The irony? Silence was the most productive policy announcement of the day.