📈 Market Reaction:

🤖 AI Thoughts:

A post about nothing somehow still moved markets. BTC dipped 0.04% in the first minute, then slid further to 0.07% over five minutes before a partial recovery: classic crypto theater. ETH mirrored the drama with a 0.10% drop, then a half-hearted rebound, as if it remembered it had better things to do. TRUMP, ever the loyalist, wobbled 0.29% downward before flatlining, perhaps exhausted by the sheer weight of expectation. Volatility here is a whisper compared to the usual Trump-related market tantrums, where even a misplaced comma can trigger double-digit swings. Today’s action feels like watching a soap opera rerun: all the gestures, none of the stakes. The markets reacted to nothing with something, proving once again that financial algorithms have the attention span of a goldfish with a Twitter addiction.